March 10, 2013

The Gym: Part Three

Gym Culture (i.e. Best People Watching Ever)
Well, besides the airport, and Comic Con...

Here's the simple truth: I like going to the gym.
I enjoy the way I feel happy after I exercise and how I already feel stronger with only a couple weeks of work.

But I have to admit, there are some pretty funky characters at a gym. It's kind of distracting. And fun to watch.
I do not deny that I fall into a few "funky" categories.  I am one of those "People without professional gym gear." Oh yeah, I'm rocking the unflattering sweat-pants and an old shirt from some random activity I did when I was younger that isn't really as cool as it used to be, cause I'm too cheap to buy anything new (I mean, the shirt from the school I student taught at was nice when I got it, but no one here knows Clackamas High School. Plus, there are holes in the armpits. Perfect to sweat in!). 

Also, did you read my previous post? I literally FELL OFF OF A TREADMILL. While it was on its lowest setting. I am the founding member of "Using gym equipment incorrectly" group.
Here are some other groups I've enjoyed observing at the gym:
"HUMONGOUS guys who grunt a lot. A LOT" Think Arnold in his youth kinda big. I've been told that at a certain point, you can't help but grunt when you're lifting your limit. Still, there are some pretty strange sounds coming from the weight section...
"The Looker" Yeah, you think I can't see you, but you have seriously got to stop staring at my -fill in the blank- Both men AND women are guilty of this, people. Mirrors are the best way to catch "The Looker" in the act. This web-comic does an excellent job (using adult humor- you've been warned) at getting into the minds of "Lookers." But mirrors are also used by the...
"Mirror Gazer" I can understand checking your form and posture, but posing? Seriously? The gym is populated by people who both want to feel AND look good, and the walls are covered in mirrors, so it kind of sets the stage for vanity, but there are people who act as if they are at a magazine shoot. I find it hard not to laugh at these people. Then I glance at myself in a mirror as I walk by...Ok, ok, I'm a mirror-gazer, too (This might apply to everyone at the gym).
"Zumba-you-bet-I-know-the-move-dancer" Zumba is by far my favorite part of the gym. This is dancing at its best (at least for me). I could arguably do all of the other work-outs at home, but being in a dance class, surrounded by real people (who look normal to boot) is really fun. And the best part is when a familiar dance move begins and every body starts shaking their booty like a belly dancer. Then the move changes and I go the wrong way.
"Models/Trainers" These people wear skin-tight-commercialized-not-much-cloth-there-clothes, look as if they were born in a gym and walk around looking beautiful. Some of them have "trainer" on the back of their shirts, but most of them don't. They're done. Why do they taunt me?!?!
"Awkwardly loud talker" Wow, you're speaking loud enough for everyone to hear about that amazing basketball game you just dominated and the great new car you just bought. I'm so impressed I'm going to move to another section of the gym.
"Newbies" I no longer walk around with my mouth wide open, drooling, but there are certainly others in the same position who have newly jumped on this bandwagon. They usually walk around slowly, timidly trying the strange machines that are supposedly meant for human use. Do not fear, my young padawans (young or not), the force will guide your muscles to grow...and the dark side of extra fat to diminish...soonish...Well, you'll know how to use the treadmill without falling off, I can promise you that.

To really throw these groups into a clearly humorous light, watch this video.


Happy exercising!

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